For Better Or Verse
Incorporating Poems Into Your Wedding Day
You have the rings safely in the keeping of your best man. You've finally agreed on the seating chart. The soloist knows your favorite song. Is there anything you've forgotten that will make this wedding day all you've dreamed, and show your eternal love for your chosen partner? Hint: It's something you may have done when you were first courting each other.
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...I Do, I Do
For centuries, and in many different cultures, brides and grooms have written poetry tributes to each other. Many wedding toasts are in verse.
Although weddings most often feature readings of religious scripture, such as 1 Corinthians from the Bible, or readings from the Qu'ran, they can also include other meditations on love and marriage, frequently in poetic form. Couples often opt for Shakespearean sonnets or Elizabeth Barrett Browning's love poems. The famous "Sunrise, Sunset" from "Fiddler on the Roof" can be considered poetry set to music.
There's a wide selection of poems, and depending on the theme of your wedding, you have many to choose from - religious, romantic, cultural, and so forth. Although there are thousands of poems and songs, and each culture has specific wedding verses or blessings, very few gifts say "I love you and want to be with you for as long as we live" as powerfully as a poem composed for the occasion.
The ceremony can be more meaningful if the bride and groom each offer an original poem, or one poem from both, commemorating the marriage. Family and friends may also wish to offer a poem tribute to the couple and their marriage.
According to a survey of men and women ages 20 to 29 conducted by the Gallup Organization for the National Marriage Project, less than half (42%) of single young American adults believe that it is necessary to find a partner that shares their religion. The overwhelming majority (94%) of respondents say: "When you marry, you want your spouse to be your soul mate, first and foremost." The majority of respondents agree that this commitment is for life.
Given the tendency towards finding a partner of a different background, and the desire for a lasting marriage, a poem can be the perfect way to blend two separate lives, especially when the partners come from different religious or ethnic backgrounds.
"Waltz": Blending Two Lives With a Poem
Several years ago my brother-in-law's brother who is Jewish, married a woman who was raised Christian. The couple had many decisions to make when they decided to marry, but the one decision they both heartily agreed on was that they wanted a poem read at their wedding, and they wanted me to write the poem.
The genesis of the poem was easy. The bride and groom had taken dance lessons, and dancing was one activity they particularly enjoyed. The image of the dance in a relationship seemed powerful, and "Waltz," later known as "Wedding Dance," winner of the Twelfth Blue Mountain Arts Tri-Annual Poetry Contest in 2000, danced into my head a month before the wedding. Since dancing is traditional at wedding ceremonies in many cultures and faiths, this poem seemed a perfect way to unite the diverse backgrounds that the couple brought to their marriage.
The bride and groom loved the poem, and made plans to include it in their ceremony. The poem followed the famous "1 Corinthians". It was a fitting inclusion in a ceremony in which the traditional lighting of the unity candle happened side by side with the breaking of the glass.
The bride's aunt and uncle sang "The Prayer" during the lighting of the Unity Candle. I wasn't present at the wedding, so I didn't see the weaving of spirit and words and music into the fabric of the ceremony, but I know the power of the poem and of that ceremony.